Monday, April 6, 2009

Texting Gives You Cancer

I recently got a new phone for work. I'm not the biggest fan of cell phones. There's already a multitude of things wrong with them. People with the right tools can listen in on your conversations more easily than with a land line, bills can be ridiculous and arcane, and of course, the cell phone companies are using the advent of cell phones as a cover-up for the fact that half the cell-phone reception towers are just a part of a large and elaborate multi-national spy network.

We all know that there's a strong chance that phones could be linked to the rising Brain cancer in the world. It seems like some people are under the impression that texting can keep this from occurring. Now, as much as I'd love to take down the act of texting for the sake of it, I'm doing this because people can't seem to put 2 and 2 together.

(What's the point of a text message when no one seems to be able to spell or read anymore? Seriously, if I wanted a slower, throw-away, text-based method of communicating with people, I'd train a carrier pigeon.)

Cancer is not a magic ray of evil that enters your body. Cancer is the mutation of a cell that causes it to live longer and split at a faster rate. There are numerous factors that can cause and many that we haven't even found yet. That being said, any part of your body where cells multiple is fair game for cancer. Sure, it's most common in some areas, but the cells in your thumbs are no more resillient than the cells in your brain. This is but one of the many reasons I try to keep my phone calls short.

So why the scare over texting? Because texting takes longer than speaking. The time it takes me to pull my phone out of its protective casing, dial a friend on speed-dial, and say "Hey Cray. I'm at the grocery store. Need any milk?" is about a minute. But the time it takes me to open up my menus, find the contact on my list, type out the message, and then send the thing over these companies slow-loading receivers can be several minutes. Sure, I could use short-hand, but I'm not an idiot, and I don't support the epidemic of stupid that is plaguing our country in the form of "net speak".

So, 1 minute of exposure becomes 5. Now, imagine the people that are going around texting constantly instead of just calling their people with the phone (the way it was INTENDED to be used). They're being exposed to 5 times the deadly rays. Even if the thumb cells were SOMEHOW more resillient than the brain cells, I doubt the number is more than 5 times as such. Texting is a HAZARD to society.

Am I going to stop people from texting? No, but I do encourage you that if you HAVE to continue with the texting keep a pair of preventative gloves handy. By keeping a material between you and the phone, you can reduce the harmful rays that enter your hands. If you can't abstain from this stupid practice at least practice this one precaution. It shouldn't change the experience at all.

Remember. No glove, no text.

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